My brother got married this weekend, so I wrote a little thing about how wonderful he and his wife are. Sorry it's sappy.
Growing up, three years apart, Kyle and I would fight a lot. He once had to attend a conference for work with a black eye, and one of the several times I had to get stitches on my chin was his fault.
It’s what happens when you spend so much time with a person. Every day, looking at them, thinking about everything about them that bothers you.
Small arguments would turn into huge fights. And so many of them came out of nowhere.
But, luckily, we had our moments of civility. We’d make time out of our days to watch our dorky TV shows like Firefly, or Farscape, or Angel, or even Crocodile Hunter.
It’s funny, we fought a lot, but when I look back at growing up with Kyle, the things that always come to mind first are playing a video game together, or watching Steve Irwin harass some snake. Or getting our stories straight about a lie we needed to tell our parents.
When I first met Jenn, the three of us had lunch at the food court in the mall. This may seem unceremonious, but I remember every moment of that lunch pretty distinctly, so there was something special about it.
And, of course, that something special was Jenn.
They hadn’t been dating very long, but they already had a rapport that was so full of understanding, and appreciation for each other, it was obvious that they belonged together.
Jenn seemed to instantly “get” who Kyle was so quickly.
Getting to know Jenn over the years has been a special privilege for me. Whether it was bonding over our mutual weakness for Fireball, or our mutual love of teasing Kyle for being weird about run of the mill things.
And what they’ve become together has been a joy to watch, too. They go to the zoo together. They go for walks. They have a dog, and Kyle plays with it outside. I’m sorry, but who is this guy?
Who is this guy?
Last week, Kyle and I went golfing and then we played a few games of pool. Kyle won golf, and I just absolutely crushed him at pool. Not that that’s important, but I'm just putting it on the record.
But that day, one of far too few we’ve spent together over the years, was perfect.
We were brothers, friends, having a great time together.
And it made me think about all those years we spent not being friends, not being friendly.
How many months, or years, did we spend missing out on what we could have had?
Jenn is smart, funny, kind, and thoughtful to a fault. Like my brother.
He’d claim he isn’t that thoughtful, but if you could see how often he emails me asking for advice on gifts, or what he should wear to an event... He agonizes over doing the right thing, not offending people, making sure people are comfortable.
That’s thoughtfulness. And Jenn is the same. Whether it’s her effort to get to know my friends, or to come out to events where they’re not going to know many people, because they know it’s important to me and Leah, or just having us over for a meal simply because it’s been too long, Jenn is always thinking. Always being thoughtful. Always being kind.
And for that, I’m grateful. And happy. And so thrilled that they found each other and are married. The world needs people like them to find each other, because it makes it a better place to live for all of us.
I can’t remember that last thing Kyle and I fought about. But whatever it was, I regret it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: I’ve realized that any moment not spent loving Kyle is a waste.
Kyle and Jenn, you're both so lucky to have found each other. Hell, we’re all lucky you two found each other. I’m so happy you’re each now married to such a wonderful person.
And just remember this: Any moment you spend not completely in love is a waste.
And what a tragic waste that would be.